Depressed again today.
Went to the Library in English and later wrote my thoughts on school.
NOTES: Not sure if these were the "thoughts on school" I wrote that day but the following was written in my Creative Writing class journal a couple of days later.
I do not like this Senior Year of school. The main reason is that I don't like endings. After a dozen years, a person falls into a routine and it's difficult to change it. Then in the final year they suddenly treat you differently. You're no longer just a student. You're a Senior and Seniors get special treatment. I don't like that.
While I'm at it, I should add that I don't like extracurricular activities. It's my feeling that I came here to learn. A school should be for education. At 3:26 I exit for home and try not to give school another thought until the next day.
I never join clubs and I certainly don't fall into the bizarre fanatical support of athletics that we see here. The school schedules a pep rally and then makes it mandatory to attend. This is supposed to make me proud of my school? I refuse to be forced into screaming or cheering or even applauding. I'm useless at pep rallies. And yet I'm forced to attend. Why?
Senior year features other activities that you're expected to participate in including the Prom, the variety show and the absolutely ludicrous "Kiddie Day." In order to participate, you're expected to pay class dues! So I avoided the problem by refusing to pay them, thus eliminating my eligibility for the majority of activities. I have every intention of skipping school on Kiddie Day. I mean, once in twelve years couldn't hurt.
If it were up to me, I'd skip graduation even. It's not like most of these people actually learn all that much and then, in the end, they're congratulated for it! All of the traditions about graduation--the intricate tassel instructions for example--are all just pointlessly ceremonial and silly. My mother really wants me to go though so...
It is my feeling that if I neither enjoy myself nor incite others to enjoy themselves at these events, then I should be allowed the prerogative not to attend.
You'll note that I was not exactly big on school spirit. That said, last night in 2011, I returned to the school yet again to watch a school play that one of my son's friends was associated with behind the scenes.
In case you're wondering, even though we argued about it right up until the week before, I did actually attend graduation. I ended up graduating 12th in my class of several hundred. Seen above is me posing in my cap and gown. Having never eaten lunch once during the three years I attended the school, when they announced that students could pick up their caps and gowns in the cafeteria...I had to ask for directions!